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Myths Busted: Why Couples are “Running Away” from Big Weddings

Aren’t you just exhausted thinking about the pressures of a picture-perfect-mother-in-law-approved-money-dumping-Instagram-worthy-wedding? Same! 

You know, big Weddings? Once an intimate celebration amongst close friends and family, witnessing a sacred exchange of vows and sharing a love story, has turned into a massive industry that seems to be focusing on everyone except the love story at hand. And there’s a whole bunch of other people tired of pre-planning for extravagant weddings that do not center around their love. 

Maybe you can relate! It’s the gourmet dinners at $29 a plate. You are finding a perfect dress for all your beautiful but still imperfect bridesmaids. And oh, lordy! Don’t get me started on choosing the wedding party. It’s madness (and truly not about your love!

There’s an exciting amount of rising couples that want to “run away” as far as possible from the pressure, cost, and archaic traditions. And I’m here for it! Are you here for it, too? Maybe? Still worried about celebrating? You can! There are options for customization here. Keep reading! We’ll chat. 

You might be stubborn to leave those big wedding ideas in the past because myths about elopements are stopping you in your tracks. Continue to read as I debunk some of the most commonly held myths about eloping: 

Debunking Commonplace Elopement Myths 

Myth #1: Eloping is selfish

It’s your wedding day, and eloping is not selfish. Disregard perceptions or judgments! 

Truthfully, you deserve to spend your day exactly how you and your partner want to. It should be your choice, Whether that’s in a fancy ball gown surrounded by hundreds of people or barefoot on a beach eating Chinese food, just the two of you. 

All the bells and whistles of a big top wedding can be a beautiful thing if that’s what you want. But when it comes down to it the happiness and fulfillment of the couple’s wishes, it should stand at the core of the marriage and unification of two becoming one and the love story they share. 

As Dr. Seuss says best, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind.” People who genuinely root for your happiness will support your decisions. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t be disappointed or lack emotion. And it doesn’t mean you’ll feel any empathy in return. It means that you can choose another way to select those people you care about and want them to be a part of your big day. 

If you are worried you are going to hurt feelings and upset those around you about your decision to elope, here are some ideas of things you can do to make those closest to you still feel involved:

  • Create a Wedding Website: Get personal! You can create a wedding website easily online through several free services, like The Knot. You can keep close friends and family updated on your elopement stories, engagement photos, registry, and so much more. If you’re comfortable, let this be a portal for the fam into your special day. 
  • Announcement! Send out marriage announcements about your BIG Day! Even though everyone and their mother may not be involved, people still want to celebrate you with a keepsake for your big day. 
  • Send elopement photos to family. Go ahead! Spend the postage by sending out postcards with your print on the front. I’ve used Canva to create the image and ordered it directly via FedEx that afternoon. No licks or “likes” necessary. 
  • Party at the Reception! Ya’ll can still have a reception. There are no rules to planning your wedding when you elope. (Well, only the real marriage license part). 

Myth #2: Elopements are CHEAPER than big weddings!

Like anything, you can choose how you get to spend your money. 

In fact, where is the money going? Decide before the planning even begins by setting a budget. You choose how you spend your money. With an elopement, you can certainly drive to the courthouse and get away with a $40 afternoon, or you can jump on an airplane and head to Bali for an extravagant affair. In the same sense, a big wedding can result at either end of the budget as well. However, in the “big wedding” you’re choosing to spend your money on the guests rather than yourselves – either way, it’s your choice. 

Myth #3: Eloping must be the couple only. 

I don’t know about you, but visual imagery always leads me to two love birds who have just met and ran away to a small white chapel in Vegas. But, eloping can also mean having an intimate ceremony with family and friends. It doesn’t have to be JUST you and your significant other. Again, it is your special day, and you can celebrate with as many or as few people as you want! 

Myth #4: Elopements are rushed.

Eloping isn’t just running to the courthouse and ordering pizza on the way home. But, girl, if that floats your boat! Order the pizza! 

Elopements can are much, if not more, magic than a traditional ceremony because the societal pressures aren’t there. Instead, the focus is on love itself. Ok, you might still be feeling the pressure, but think about this! 

When you pack your day with special activities, you’re planning it the exact way you want it with an elopement. It’s customized (remember, I told ya’ll that earlier). If you don’t want a rushed wedding day, then don’t plan a rushed wedding day. 

Who says elopements are the hustle and bustle? We planned ours several months out and packed it full of relaxing activities. My husband got to snorkel almost every single day. 

Myth #5: Elopements aren’t as special as “real” weddings.

Mainstream media pressures us to believe we need a hundred dozen people gazing as we walk down the aisle to Canon in D. Many think having a particularly joyous time requires the perfect dress, thanks to social media. The truth is every couple wants to spend their special day differently. No two couples are alike. 

Think back to why you are getting married. I am hoping it’s your love. Your special day should tell your love story perfectly (or not so perfectly!) 

What makes your love so unique? 

Where do you two feel alive? 

Let’s go there!

If you’ve changed your mind and are reading to leave those big wedding ideas in the past, make sure to reach out to me. I’d love to help you plan your day where you set the budget, plan the activities and customize your love story the way that you want to. 

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